"You are gorgeous, Leah. Your need for affirmation of that has gone unfilled. Please forgive me. As I said last night, you're hot."
You know what I gathered from it though?
"I'm just saying this because I have to, given our conversation last night, and I'm feeling guilty. Therefore, I'm supposed to ask for forgiveness so I am."
Not only that, but as I read those words, there was this voice raging through my head:
"You are not gorgeous. You are fat, you are ugly and you're gaining weight. Don't believe what he's saying, it's a lie...its' not true...look at all you've done wrong in your relationship - when was the last time you were intimate? There is no way that you're hot... He's lying. You're ugly, fat and undesirable. He's just saying that because he has to. Don't believe it."
Take a stab at what voice I chose to believe.
I'm guessing that I'm not the only one who believes untruths on a daily basis. After all, I don't even see my thoughts as lies, until Derek points them out.
I've grown so accustomed to believing these daily lies, that when I'm faced with truth, I can't even accept it as such. Instead, I twist truth around in my head to validate the lies I believe.
Derek made the observation that, because of my twisted thinking, he can't even compliment me.
I've grown so accustomed to believing these daily lies, that when I'm faced with truth, I can't even accept it as such. Instead, I twist truth around in my head to validate the lies I believe.
Derek made the observation that, because of my twisted thinking, he can't even compliment me.
I'm not the only one believing the
untruths either. Derek has his own set of lies, unique to his struggles, that
he has been believing as well. Though he knows rationally that it just isn't
true, the feelings are so intense that it's hard for him to recognize them for the lies they really are.
Wow. How did we get to this point?
Galations 5:1-26 talks about the Freedom we have as believers in Christ. Check it out here. The beginning of the passage states that:
Galations 5:1-26 talks about the Freedom we have as believers in Christ. Check it out here. The beginning of the passage states that:
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery..."Freedom from all that so easily entraps and entangles us {the passage calls it "a yoke of slavery"}, including these lies we believe.
I was letting myself "be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" in the form of lies that I have believed about myself - some of which have been prevailing for years. Lies that tell me I'm only pretty if I weigh a certain number, have white teeth, a clear complexion, wear the right clothing, smell the right way etc. - all things that are unattainable for me and because I can't achieve that level of "beauty," make me consistently feel unlovable, undesirable, and unwanted.
Reading this passage reminds me that none of that matters. I have freedom in Christ. This freedom that doesn't depend on physical standards of beauty, or any other lies I might find myself believing in, but depends solely on "faith expressing itself through love."
When Christ came, he paid the penalty of my sins and thereby made a way for me to be reunited with God - if I so choose. No longer am I held to a certain standard of beauty or ability, or anything - rather, because of Christ in me, I am free - truly free. But when I choose to believe lies, I become tied to them, and am able to experience neither the freedom that Christ has called me to, nor His love.
You know, this stuff doesn't just happen over night either. Sometimes it takes years in the making. Further in the passage Paul writes:
What began as:
"I'm not pretty enough," over the years grew into, "No one can truly love me" and because of that, "my husband doesn't really mean what he's saying..."
I wonder what would happen if instead of letting these voices resonate in our heads, we spoke these untruths out loud to others? Would we, if we were honest with one another, recognize the irrationality of these lies we believe? Would that in turn bring freedom from the lies? Would we be able to give them to God?
What about you? Are there lies that you've been tied to? Lies that are so embedded that you can't experience God's truth?
The Bible [Truth] states "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free..." If we are in Christ, we are free. Anything that contradicts that is a lie. Period.
Reading this passage reminds me that none of that matters. I have freedom in Christ. This freedom that doesn't depend on physical standards of beauty, or any other lies I might find myself believing in, but depends solely on "faith expressing itself through love."
When Christ came, he paid the penalty of my sins and thereby made a way for me to be reunited with God - if I so choose. No longer am I held to a certain standard of beauty or ability, or anything - rather, because of Christ in me, I am free - truly free. But when I choose to believe lies, I become tied to them, and am able to experience neither the freedom that Christ has called me to, nor His love.
You know, this stuff doesn't just happen over night either. Sometimes it takes years in the making. Further in the passage Paul writes:
"You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth? That kind of persuasion does not come from the one who calls you....I am confident in the Lord that you will take no other view. The one who is throwing you into confusion, whoever that may be, will have to pay the penalty..."It all begins with a simple, untrue thought that isn't "captured." (See 2 Corinthians 2:5) Then, it slowly resonates in our minds, over and over, growing and festering like a cancer. The longer it lingers, is thought about, isn't dealt with, it takes root. When we're faced with situations that expose the original sinful thought, it defensively grows stronger. It fights to maintain its existence as truth. Eventually, if it is never uprooted biblically, we trick ourselves in believing lies and are unable to decipher the truth. This is Satan's Trojan Horse - a tool he uses with me often.
What began as:
"I'm not pretty enough," over the years grew into, "No one can truly love me" and because of that, "my husband doesn't really mean what he's saying..."
I wonder what would happen if instead of letting these voices resonate in our heads, we spoke these untruths out loud to others? Would we, if we were honest with one another, recognize the irrationality of these lies we believe? Would that in turn bring freedom from the lies? Would we be able to give them to God?
What about you? Are there lies that you've been tied to? Lies that are so embedded that you can't experience God's truth?
The Bible [Truth] states "it is for freedom that Christ has set us free..." If we are in Christ, we are free. Anything that contradicts that is a lie. Period.
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