The one opinion that really matters

The other night my husband asked me how I felt God viewed me...

I couldn't answer for a while...trying to rid myself of all the usual immediate responses, you know what I'm talking about..."hypocrite, liar, pretender, self centered..."  Literally, the question led me to silence.  And longer silence.

Why?

I knew that I had to really be honest...
I knew that this was serious, a "no-laughing" matter when ironically, when that's exactly what my first instinct was to do.

Instead, I had to be quiet, to look inward at my heart.  Pausing before the Almighty God, I began to recognize Him in my life, for who He is.  and then I saw myself, in the same picture.

"Daughter"

I mean, after all, I pray saying, "Dear Heavenly Father..." or "Father" so I guess that ulitmilaty I would say He views me as daughter.  But what does that mean?  Especially when I can never seem to be "good enough," or do get it right, or to not make mistakes.

My husband, wonderful and wise, shared his views, by relating to the only thing he felt he could, our daughter Esther.  What he shared with me really stuck a cord...

Ever since he became a father, he's desired a relationship with Esther, desired that she know him, that she has a relationship with him.  How profound!  If that is what a imperfect father desires of his child, how much more so does God desire that of me, of us, as His Children?

He went on to say that he knows her so well, that he can tell when she does something naughty on purpose, and when she does something by accident.  That doesn't just come naturally, especially to a first time dad.  Rather, he's had to study Esther, to learn her likes & dislikes, her actions & reactions and to pay attention to her abilities & inabilities, as she learns what it means to be a human.  (after all, she's not even two yet!)

In the same way God knows us personally, intimately.

Psalm 139:13, 15, 16 states, "For you [God] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb...My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be..."

When I read those verses, I am humbled.  I am in awe.  I feel love.  loved.  I feel known.  Truly known.  After all, who else can say that they that they knit me together in my mothers womb?  No one.

So, when life seems to fall apart.  When I can't seem to be "good enough," to "do better" or "try harder," what a great reminder that I am loved.  I don't have to do more, to be better or earn anyone's approval.  I already have it.  I already have security in God.

And so do you.

God knows you, your struggles, your pain, your desires, your dreams.

He knows where you are today, where you want to be tomorrow.  And He loves you.  Not because of you, something you've done, or will do, but because He created you.  You matter to God.

Remember that.

When you think no one cares.  When you feel discouraged, unloved, unwanted.  When you feel lonely.  Alone.

You are not.  God loves you.  Because of  Him, not because of you.  What a relief!

Peace be with you today, as you rest in His love.  In His hands may you find peace.

-Leah